Improvement

Now that it’s been 2016 for about a month, I’ve decided what I’m going to do with it. Instead of making all the new years resolutions (that most of you probably already gave up by now) I’m going to try something different. Its a mindset. Realistic goals, for life, not just this year, in which I will set out and accomplish. However they will start and some may finish in this new year.

There are things I want to learn and do, that will take patience, time management, and will. All three in which I will need to put some work into. I often am the person that when I want to do something I really want to do it. I get all gung ho and plan every detail and research etc etc then I either get knocked down by someone or I start and then realize it’s too much time and energy, and quit.

Well that needs to change. I need to set a different example for my son. So this year I’m setting out on a new path of learning. I’m hoping that by making this public, it will keep me more accountable and help me to stick to it.

Today, starts the first day for my husband and I to fast for one week. I’ve never fasted before and I hate water, but I’m going into it with a strong mind. I think that by doing this I will hopefully lesson my appetite, lose weight, and hopefully heal up my stomach ulcer. I’m also participating because I know my husband has wanted to fast for a week for some time now and it’s very difficult for him when I’m making chocolate cakes with peanut butter frosting (which sounds OH SO good right now!) and other yummy foods and he’s trying not to eat. Its also just plain support for each other. These are all fine reasons to fast, but the biggest reason is to take the time we would have spent preparing and eating and use it in a way to better our faith. I will most likely spend my lunches reading my Bible, and my husband wants to pray during our dinner time. Hopefully through this we will be more strengthened to read and pray more everyday, which is something I definitely struggle with.

As well as fasting, I need to keep up on my blog writing and do a better job than what I have so far. That’s just the time management struggle.

I would also like to freshen up on my language skills and relearn some basic Chinese and hopefully learn a greater understanding of the language, people, and culture. As well as Chinese, I would like to learn another language but am in thought as to which one. My top three choices are, Russian, German, or Italian.
I definitaly won’t be a fluent foreign language speaker, or an excellent blogger, or the most Godly woman, but I am going to try these new things. This is the year I am going to have no excuses, and just do what needs done, better myself, and hopefully this will be a much better year than the previous.

MommyGraham

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Happy Birthday, Bestie

It has been a couple days since my last post, I find myself thinking about writing all the time but realizing I have other things that need to be done first. I find myself in the same position right now, other things need to be done before I head out the door in a couple hours, but I also feel I made a commitment to writing as well and I need to give energy and attention to that as well. Somethings always going to have to wait. I just have to figure out what’s more important right now. I should probably clean some and prep for lunch so I’ll just keep it short for now.

My best friend turns 21 today. She’s the best. She couldn’t possibly know how much she means to me and how much of a blessing she’s been these past few years. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for her and her wonderful family.  I will always be there for her no matter where life takes us.

Happy Birthday!

P.s. don’t spend your life hunting for something, then once you find it let it go… It makes for one poointless film.

MommyGraham

The Little Things & Tom Sawyer

A few months ago my husband and I decided to embark on a new journey. He wanted to go back to school full time to earn his master’s degree and with that meant moving to the city and living in a small apartment on campus. I am grateful for my husband and all that he does to provide for us and I fully understand and support this investment for our future.

However, I am far from being a city person. I am from the small town with one traffic light, related to everyone in the town if you trace your ancestry back far enough, and the closest neighbor is a hill away. Born and raised in this setting your entire life, you grow very fond of open spaces and feel claustrophobic in small apartments in the middle of the city.

Now the place I grew up is at the heart of a square, where each corner is that of four big towns and in the middle of a three hour distance between two major cities, and yet, somehow, it is unknown to the world. Thousands of people drive right over it on a giant bridge everyday on an interstate and never realize its existance. [Except for a Hallmark movie where one of the transitioning scenes is a short clip of entering the town, and of course the farewell season of American Idol might bring some attention their way. SO to Isaac Cole.] Anyway, there’s a couple little towns just like mine within a few miles of each other, and I’d say we’re all one “big” community.

That being said, today, the little one and I ventured onto campus and found us a table full of free things. Mostly books. We gather up some books and headed home. As I was going through these books, I noticed that the author had graduated from the private college in the big town [a corner of the square] not too far out, so I read a little further and low and behold he was born and raised in one of the neighboring small towns of our community!

Pretty exciting stuff when no one knows that section of the planet and you’re missing your homeland.

The book is just a bunch of stories from his childhood growing up in the depression and proabably wouldn’t interest most people, but for me, those stories and pictures are the history of my home community and the history being told first hand of where my ancestors started out and some of the struggles they faced compared to today’s life. I relate very much to this book and quite possibly it has just become one of my favorite books.

The title of this little gem is Reflections of a Twentieth Century Tom Sawyer. By Lloyd E. Shaw

It completely made my day. The Little things that remind us of our home and where we came from mean a great deal to me and my family, so thank you to whoever put this book on the free tablet and thank you Mr. Shaw for publishing these memories!

~MommyGraham

Ohana

lilo-stitch-reading-duck-book-wallpaper“Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” -Lilo & Stitch

Most of you are probably familiar with this quote, for me it means a little bit more. Almost a year ago now, my husband and I found out we were pregnant with our second child. We were just starting to tell people around the time of my second appointment, my first ultrasound with this baby. I was excited to see the little fellow even if it’s not much to look at so early. The ultrasound technician didn’t say much to me or give me any pictures and I thought that was kind of odd. I was to see the Dr. for a follow up right after, so I didn’t get too concerned. It turns out, I had had a miscarriage. And I was devastated. I wasn’t sure how to respond. Even though I had never met the little one, they were loved, deeply. I was just flooded with all of the “They’ll never’s.” They’ll never hold mommy’s hand, they’ll never feel mommy’s warmth and comfort, play with their older brother, smile, giggle, cry; nothing.

It was a very emotional time for me. I wanted that child. I had a D&C scheduled and the date in which it was scheduled was the anniversary date of my grandfather’s passing. After the procedure, we weren’t sure what to do. The “remains” would be kept in a lab somewhere, and if ever need they could use it for testing. I had the thought of getting to see my baby and burrying them. Everyone seemed to just give me a weird look and discourage any idea of physical closure. You’re just supposed to go on with life as if you were never pregnant in the first place. I can’t do that though. It was my baby.

Since a lot of other things were happening and staying in the area wasn’t a certainty, we just put things on hold with making a decision about what to do with the baby. We did and up moving twice in those next few months and due to other circumstances we no longer have the money to do any sort of physical closure.

We had thought about naming it, but, without knowing gender, it made it difficult. I had brought up many different gender neutral names but none of them seemed to fit. It was always in the back of our minds and anytime one of us thought of a possible name all we would have to say is “well, what about…” and we’d both know, but could never agree on anything.

A few days ago I had come across a wall decal that was the “Ohana” quote from Lilo & Stitch. I loved Lilo & Stitch growing up and it was just a heartwarming film that stuck with me, with many life lessons and quotes attatched.

I didn’t think about it at first, but I kept seeing the decal popping up here and there. Then as I thought about the saying, I began to remember my baby and how I’d never forget them because they were apart of me. So, I began to toss it around in my mind, naming our lost little one Ohana. Last night, I threw it past my husband. His response was “Ohana… What does Ohana mean?” and I quoted Stitch. He thought for a moment and agreed that it was a perfect fitting name.

I cried a little, but it was a weight off of me. I now feel like I have some sort of closure.

I now want to purchase that wall decal and then it doesn’t matter where we move, we can always have the decal on a wall and remember our little Ohana. Out little family that nobody will be forgotten or left behind.

MommyGraham

Hello & Welcome to My Blog

As my first blog post, ever, I would like to thank you for checking my site out! I used to be convinced that blogging was overrated and dumb. There are too many out there already why would anyone feel the need to start another and with all the social medias out there it was just another way to blab about your day for the world to see. I usually have this pattern where I don’t like something for no reason and then all of a sudden I’ll come around and be like, yeah I was just denying myself an opportunity just to be grumpy and different. In the past few days, I realized blogging would be a good fit for me. A way to have like minds read and share their thoughts with me as I share mine with them. Something I suppose I’ve always have longed for but have never really known myself enough to find that certain group.

A little about myself…

I am a Christian, wife, and a stay at home mommy. My little one is one going on three. He’s a quick little whippersnapper, cute as a button, and has his mommy’s temper. We have a kitty cat, who is one and a half, my biggest baby, and will be referred to as Ceebs (because my husband and I can’t agree on the way his real name should be spelled). He was born 2 days before our wedding day and shortly after we started bringing him inside. He was a natural at being a lazy housecat from day one. My little one and the fur baby are absolute best friends; it’s heartwarming. We also have a rooster, 4 hens, and a duck. I also like to dabble in photography, though I don’t have the money to be professional at it.

I mostly just want to start writing and sharing about daily happenings as a mother and wife, as well as share things from the kitchen. I am a traditionalist in the sense that I would prefer to stay at home and keep the home running rather than have a full time job. I didn’t always believe I would be that person. I loved working and staying busy, going out all the time, it was fun and all great experiences. Only now do I realize they were God’s way of preparing me for my current life, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

I will try to post daily, but that won’t always happen. The next post will hopefully be a little more entertaining and/or helpful, but, for now, I’ve got some thoughts to sort out in my dreams.

~MommyGraham